On July 12, 2003, Sen. Santorum cried out and pointed an accusing finger at the Black Man from Boston, falling into the trap that has resulted in destroyed lives, reputations, and the end of great political movements, especially religiously fueled ones.

For you see, when you cry out on the Black Man from Boston, you wake Nicholas Scratch, and he will surely come to call on you.

I am tempted to ask the good Republican Senator from the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania: Are you entirely sure you want to get the estimable Mr. Scratch's attention?

And while no time is a good time to draw the eyes of Nicholas Scratch to you, you are currently faced with a populace who is growing increasingly discontented with the Republican Congress and Republican White House; a growing population of people who've figured out they were lied to about Iraq; the president's right-hand man Karl Rove on the verge to twisting in the wind thanks to sudden break-throughs in the Valerie Plame case; a tanking economy; grumbling from the evangelical Christians on the right who want to exercise some political power and get payback, but don't feel they're getting enough of it...

And have we mentioned? Your poll numbers are sinking like a stone for the 2006 Senate Race. And your Democratic challenger, who's ahead of you by an almost 2-to-1 margin, hasn't even started campaigning yet. Lose in 2006, that will surely hurt your run for President in 2008.

Are you entirely certain you want the attention of Nicholas Scratch?

Ahhhh, it's too late now. I do believe He's seen you already. Do witness the sudden number of body blows landing on you and your party. It may have taken Him three years to work His wiles, but now He is calling payment due.

However, I admire you for continuing to assert that, indeed, the Black Man is from Boston, even in the face of people who are starting wonder if you're insane or just an insensitive clod.

What makes this truly funny, Senator, is that you're not wrong. You're not wrong at all.

( You see, since the earliest Colonial times, everyone knew that Satan lived in Boston. That you've just discovered this causes me to worry about your lack of historical knowledge and your poor powers of observation. )

It's a passing fancy on my part, I'm sure.

But whenever certain fearful souls point to Boston where Satan walks the streets, I imagine the Black Man of Boston looking up from his Dunkin' Donuts Great One coffee and his Boston Globe sports section to raise an elegant eyebrow in response.

That raised eyebrow always means trouble.

Whenever small men blame "the liberals" for serving the dark forces of evil, I remember that once the people of the Massachusetts Bay Colony believed that Native Americans were the servants of Satan and that their victories against settlers was a sign of God's disfavor.

And when I watch scandal after scandal finally crashing over these tiny men, these frightened men, these men who pray to God in front of microphones to save them while wrapping themselves in an American flag, I can see disreputable Nicholas Scratch standing in the background and laughing at the futility of it all.

But there's no Daniel Webster or Johnnie Cochran with a Chewbacca Defense to save them.

History repeats.

All you need to do is see the pattern, and translate today's demons into yesterday's beliefs.

Sen. Santorum has accused the Black Man from Boston of crimes He did not commit. And now Nicholas Scratch will remind the good senator that no Satan, and no devil, can tempt a man (or woman) to do something that he (or she) was not already prone to do.

And suddenly, today seems like it's a very good day.