which means people the people who know him best or have a fixed idea in their heads about who he is might miss signs that he's in distress.

Which is why Faith works so well as a means to provide that insight, especially post-Chosen. My own personal fanwank is when she rejoined the Scoobs in S7 it was a new beginning, she tried very hard not carry over the emotions and interactions of the past. Although I've only seen S7 twice and haven't as yet swallowed my angst enough to buy it, so I could be wrong.

Your post and the other wonderful comments? Are so going into my memories. I'm filled with fandom love.