In which my TV outsmarts my VCR (and I'm forced to pony up for a DVR...)

[liz_marcs]

I've been AWOL in large part due to work. I.e., 12-hour days for all!

I can't actually complain since the bosses are actually putting in 18-hour days themselves.

The good news, the work spigots are opening up, which means better job security for those of us who managed to hold on to our jobs through this mess. The bad news is the economy is still jumpy enough that no one's hiring anyone anywhere near as I can tell.

Right now, I'm feeling a bit burned out.

Which means that there hasn't been a whole lot of TV watching goin' on. At least, not live TV watching. So, I cue up the VCR (which I admittedly haven't used since my fam went half-sies with me on a new TV for my B-day last year to replace my soon-to-be useless 16-year-old TV).

*takes deep breath*

Do you know what happens when you attempt to watch a VCR tape on an HD, flat-screen TV that was rated a Consumer Report's best buy because it's good quality for relatively cheap?

You can actually see the movement of the VCR tape on screen. We're talking jump-y, fuzzy, skipping pictures because the TV — which is in some respects smarter than the average bear — is just not having it.

I had a headache in 5 minutes of even trying.

And so, technology has kicked me in the ass. I was forced to upgrade since not everything I want to watch is streamed online (how I've been watching Glee) or available on-demand from Verizon (how I kept up with Kings).

So...I bowed to the inevitable. I decided to swap my run-of-the-mill cable box for a DVR cable box. And since Verizon does so love holding a gun to your head, I've got to live with an HD DVR cable box.

*puffs breath*

Fine. I don't like the extra cost that goes with HD, but fine. As it turns out, thanks to a whole bunch more discounts Verizon decided to throw at me, plus my canceling of a premium service that I wasn't really watching anyway, my Verizon bill only got bumped up $4.

Then Verizon pulls a dope move. I get to install the box myself. I don't have a problem with self-installation because I'm pretty good hooking up electronics. No. My problem is they delivered this HD DVR cable box to my front door and left it outside my front door. They left it there all day, giving any naked ape a clear shot at grabbing this oversized box for themselves.

Okay, no one did, but c'mon. Human nature being what it is, I'm shocked that the box didn't sprout legs and walk away.

So, in any case, I now have an HD DVR thingie, which is kind of cool. However, Verizon managed to be boneheads again and not include instructions on how to operate the damn thing. I pretty much figured it out on my own the basics, but I have no idea how many hours can be stored on the thing or what channels I actually can access (it appears I've got a mess of HD channels that I didn't have before...and they don't necessarily match up with the channels I've got on regular cable), or...or...or...

So, anyway, I tested the thing last night, and I've been playing with it half the day to figure out what I can and cannot do. (Checks clock and swears profusely about how I wasted my day.) I kind of like the fact that I can do the delayed watching maneuver so I can fast-forward through commercials.

Of course, this is where you figure out how many commercials there are stuffed in your average hour of TeeVee. For example, do you know that a single Burn Notice episode has 17 minutes of commercials? I did not know that before I started watching it on a 20-minute delay and almost caught up to the live stream on the USA HD channel.

*facepalm*

Also, watching Burn Notice on HD you notice a lot of tiny things. Like how Bruce Campbell looks entirely too healthy underneath his character make-up to play a washed up intelligence operative with a serious alcohol intake, how Gabrielle Anwar has really lousy skin, and Jeffrey Donovan manages to look pretty rat-like (or rather, more so). You also notice that Sharon Gless (God bless the Gless!) does not do plastic surgery and she looks all the more awesome for it.

Yes, I watch Burn Notice for Campbell and Gless. Now I'll actually be able to watch it regularly because the DVR's memory is better than mine.

*ponders that a bit*

Shit. I've got a piece of television equipment that's smarter than I am.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to run off to the Verizon storefront to shove my old cable box into their hands, and to give them hell about how the HD DVR was delivered.

Maybe if I'm lucky, they'll have DVR operating instructions instead of the nonsensical Q&A on the Verizon Web site that manages to go on for pages without being at all informative.

If I'm really lucky, they'll be able to tell me what channels I actually have, because I'll be damned if I can make heads or tales of it. The on-line list doesn't seem anywhere near complete, because, seriously, what the hell is the "Create" channel and why is it randomly set in the 500 block of channels? Although the HD Movie Channel is kind of cool, where the hell does it even come from? Because I haven't been able to find evidence it actually exists, beyond the fact that it's streaming through Verizon FIOS to my TeeVee even as we speak.

*throws up hands*

Technology! It's enough to make you want to go Luddite. I shouldn't have to think this hard about my entertainment choices, damn it!

Comments

[rileysaplank.livejournal.com]

For example, do you know that a single Burn Notice episode has 17 minutes of commercials?

And it's pretty much the same for any US show - check the actual running time of any BtVS episode and it'll probably be somewhere between 41 and 44 minutes long (apart from the musical) leaving 16 to 19 minutes for advertising breaks. In the EU it's law that there can be no more than 14 minutes of advertising in every hour of broadcast. It did use to be 11 or 12 minutes so we are slowly edging up towards US rates - and the commercial channels will be wanting more as their advertising revenues dry up even more than they currently are.

[liz-marcs.livejournal.com]

Seriously. Already I've decided the DVR is worth it because sitting through even the fast-forwarded time that's eaten by commercials makes me want to pull my hair out.

I think I'm remembering why I defaulted to DVDs, on-demand, and online streaming to watch anything that I thought was interesting.

[shakatany.livejournal.com]

And once you master this machine in a few years they'll replace it with a new and improved model that will take even more time to master :(

Of course, this is where you figure out how many commercials there are stuffed in your average hour of TeeVee. You just noticed? I used to tape B5 and BtVS/AtS and would pause out the commercials and end up with about 44 minutes of show. My VCR unpauses after 5 minutes and there often was a commercial break that lasted longer so I'd have to keep an eye on the time to unpause and repause it to keep that long break out. Watching 4 hours of commercial TV means you're actually watching an hour of TV...and the network folk can't figure out why the audience is shrinking.

Nice to know that you have honest neighbors.

Shakatany

[liz-marcs.livejournal.com]

I don't watch a lot of TV live. I usually wait for the DVDs or catch things via online streaming. I've only recently tried watching live TV again and it really is nuts-inducing.

And, yay, for honest neighbors. It helps I live in a half-way decent neighborhood, but still...

[sylo-tode.livejournal.com]

Watching a first season episode of The Man from U.N.C.L.E. on DVD takes fifty minutes; Quantum Leap, forty-four.

How much longer before it only takes thirty-five?

[liz-marcs.livejournal.com]

It's really enough to make you want to bang your head against the wall. It's no wonder my attention span is for crap when watching TV "live". It's not just the constant interruptions. It's that the interruptions themselves are so damned long!

[beck-liz.livejournal.com]

I have Verizon, and I don't know about where you are, but the Create channel here appears to be a subset of my local PBS station, which has a number of subsidiary HD channels. It seems to comprise of do-it-yourself crafty shows.

Despite your troubles with Verizon (which is weird, because they actually sent someone out to install it for me, although they did mess up the scheduling the first time), I hope you really enjoy your DVR. I know I do.

[liz-marcs.livejournal.com]

Installing it wasn't a problem at all (and frankly, I prefer it), but it appears that Verizon is going the whole "multi-media training" route. Which kind of drives me bats. I don't want to sit through a 2-hour online training to figure out how to use my equipment. I would much prefer to read instructions and have it as a reference.

But nooooooooo. No printed instructions. And have I mentioned that the online Q&A is totally useless?

[yanagi-wa.livejournal.com]

Everything sounds so cool except for the delivery. I've told UPS and FedEx half a dozen times not to dump stuff on our front porch. So, here I am, sick as a dog and the delivery man pulls a 'ring and run'. I flipped, opened the door and yelled in my best teacher/mom voice, "Young man, you get right back here and hand that to me! I've told you and the central office a dozen times to ring the bell and WAIT! What part of wait don't you understand." He hang dogged back and got the box, handed it to me and shlepped off. Idiot! They always put things where they can be seen from the road. What goes on in their heads?

[liz-marcs.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the Verizon people were displeased about the delivery. They've been having problems with UPS on this front. Unfortunately, if they're doing equipment delivery they don't have a whole lot of options unless they start doing it themselves.

It's really kind of insane.

[spiritdancer]

They've got an option - to require a signature from a person for delivery of the package. But IIRC, they pay more for that :)

[hendrikboom.livejournal.com]

What you describe is the kind of reason I've not gone HD yet. Last I heard, they were still arguing about the standards for interconnecting different bits of HD equipment. They keep changing their mind about the copy-protection. If you buy a piece of HD one year, you can't be sure it'll be compatible with anything you buy two years later.

And what do you do when your DVR is full? Video triage?

-- hendrik

[liz-marcs.livejournal.com]

Actually, in my case it's rental. If the HD standards change, Verizon swaps it out.

Although I'm pretty sure the US has HD/Digital standards right now. That's why they've gone all digital broadcast (and it's why a mess of us had to upgrade our trusty ol' TVs).

[skarman.livejournal.com]

Until a few months ago, I had the standard hd cable box with the standard and extra channel pack from my cable company. I noticed that most nights, I didn't watch tv because most of it is reality based programming and the things I do watch, are either a season or so behind the US (I live in the Netherlands) The only channels I watched a lot where those showing classic movies or tv shows.

I also noticed that most of the current tv shows I watched, I downloaded through either Bittorrent or Usenet, usually the day after they were aired in the US, in HD quality, without any commercials and only a small station logo. When I got to that realization and since it's not possible to only get a subscription to certain channels on their own, I cancelled my subscription, saving myself a bunch of money in the process.

I wrote a post about this on my lj a few months back, which is the start of a home media networking series I'm planning on writing. Haven't had much time to do it, actually, but basically, I download tv shows just after they air, put them on a NAS (network attached storage), use a network media tank to stream it to the tv with sound coming out of my avr receiver.

And since the kind people who upload these tv shows have multiple versions, I always get the 720p versions of them. Alright, it's not HD but way better then dvd resolution. And again, no, commercials.

If more people would do this, maybe networks and cable companies would abandon their almost criminal practices. And it also puts paid to the Nielsen ratings imho. They don't take into account people who watch their shows this way, whether local or abroad. For instance, Dollhouse gets two million viewers on tv, but at least as much overseas viewers the next day. Tru Calling was the same and so it is for many shows. If any of the movie and tv companies had the idea to put up tv episodes online for the international market at a fair price and the day after airing in the US, they'd make a ton of money and find out that many of the shows they cancel because of ratings, are in fact, huge hits. Sadly, they're wedded to the selling of their shows to other networks and continued revenue streams from such sales, as well as dvd sales instead of using current technology to broaden their audience and make a lot more on good shows.