Psychosomatic Illness is Psychosomatic!

[liz_marcs]

Right. Note to self as if I'd have to be reminded of this for the billionth time:

One of the hazards of being a medical writer is psychosomatic illness. Write about an illness, become convinced that you are OMIGAWD DIEING!

[My favorite psychosomatic illness was when I was convinced I had benign prostatic hyperplasia, which, ummmm, no. Is kind of impossible for me to get since, y'know, wrong equipment and all. Of course, that didn't stop me from being convinced that I had ALL THE SYMPTOMS, OMIGAWD IMA FREAK!]

Still, the cluster of diseases I'm currently working on is interesting, but I keep having to convince myself: NO! YOU DO NOT HAVE ANY FORM OF CHRONIC PAIN! SO STOP BEING CONVINCED YOU "CAUGHT" FIBROMYALGIA FROM THE WATER SUPPLY!

[Look, I know that fibromyalgia is a serious illness for some you out there on LJ-land and I know that joking about getting fibromyalgia from the water supply is not funny. But you have to admit, being crazy-flakes as you wander into yet another all-expenses-paid, round-trip vacation into psychosomatic land borne on the wings of illogic and aided by the updrafts of an overactive imagination is actually kind of hilarious.]

I think my brain hates me. Seriously. I loves me this job, but my brain keeps trying to kill me whenever I actually y'know, do it.

On a totally unrelated tangent that is somewhat vaguely related to the fact that I'm going into full-fledged psychosomatic illness-land:

I know I'm not going to writercon this year, but I kind of had a crazy idea for an activity/seminar and was vaguely working on a proposal for it when financial necessity smacked me low: How to land a writing job.

Seriously. Last writercon there were seminars on how to become a novelist, which is awesome and all, but, most people in the U.S. (and I would bet most of the rest of the world besides) who make a living at writing are not novelists. Or script writers. Or playwrights. Or poets.

Most of us work 9-to-5 for The Man. (This was actually going to be my title for my proposed seminar: "The 9-to-5 Writer: Workin' It for The Man.") I mean, basically, I conned convinced a whole lot of someones to pay me for my hobby. And I've done this through various industries ranging from newspapering to the medical field for a long, long time.

I've always been fascinated by the split of opinion from other writers about whether or not people like me are "writers." Some people hear what I do and think, "That's not real writing. Real writers write novels (or screenplays, or plays, or poetry)." Some people hear what I do and ask, "Cool! How do I get a gig like that?"

So, seriously. Someone needs to do something at writercon showing that there are "other writers" and "other writing jobs" out there. Ones that don't require starving and are actually quite cool.

I mean, c'mon, someone is paying me to write the equivalent of two term papers a month, complete with researching and learning cool new information. What's not to love here?

Okay, maybe not the psychosomatic illnesses, but still.

I know there are people on the writercon ConCom who work as professional writers in the 9-to-5 world (tries very hard not to look in nwhepcat's direction, and fails miserably), so I'm thinking this would be an entirely doable thing, yes?

[Yes, I note the irony here. I am not going to writercon, but I'm putting in a programming proposal anyway. I think this is spelled E-N-T-I-T-L-E-M-E-N-T.]

Comments

[endaewen.livejournal.com]

Given your statements on writing jobs and the variety of them out there, have you seen 88 Money Making Writing Jobs (http://www.amazon.com/Money-Making-Writing-Jobs-Robert-Bly/dp/140221507X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1239206513&sr=8-1)?

It surprised me with the variety of possibilities available.

[liz-marcs.livejournal.com]

I've seen that book, and I seem to recall he spends a lot of time advocating for freelancing.

Which is great...except the freelancing market started drying a few years ago and is almost down to a trickle at this point. So, it's a little bit out of date. I suppose it's good if you want to get a basic idea of what fields you could get into, though.

[endaewen.livejournal.com]

Good to know.

[liz-marcs.livejournal.com]

If you want my honest opinion, if I was in college right now, I'd aim for a career in science writing/editing (as opposed to technical writing). There are about a bazillion different iterations on, say, medical writers (for example) that span the gulf from writing product inserts and the prose for clinical papers for Big Pharma companies to sale rep training to writing for Psychology Today.

In essence, find a scientific discipline you like and minor in that while majoring in journalism. People who can write scientific concepts in a clear and concise manner is not a dime a dozen and can earn you a good day's pay while you're at it. Scientists tend to be notoriously bad at doing it. Bad enough that non-science degree holding me was able to worm my way into a scientific field simply because I knew how to string together a bunch of written words.

If I had a science degree to go with the journalism degree, I'd probably be able to name my own ticket. In fact, I know someone who's done just that. :-)

(And have I mentioned: it's a fun kind of job. Lots of fun.)

[semirose.livejournal.com]

Just kinda butting in here but do you have any suggestions for how to go about looking for jobs like that? I'm graduating in May with a degree in Chemistry and a minor in English (which ok not journalism, but it does require having writing skills) and that sounds like something I'd love to do since I kinda only recently figured out that research and grad school was just not for me and I've been struggling to figure out what to do now.

[liz-marcs.livejournal.com]

A good first step is to join LinkedIn under your real name (think of it as Facebook for Professionals...no hijinks allowed), and search for "science writers." Also, you can join the Science & Technology Media Group (http://www.linkedin.com/groups?gid=74415&trk=fulpro_grplogo&goback=.psr_*1_science+writer_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_Y_us_02453_*1_*1_*2_*2_*2_Y_Y_*1_Relevance) after you join.

With chemistry, some options you might want to consider:

1) Find out if the university you're graduating from is looking for grant writers. Researchers and academics are always looking for people who not only understand their field, but can write grants that can clearly explain what they are doing to people who are decidedly non-experts in the quest for getting that money to continue their research. Chemistry and writing is not a common mix, and I bet they might be willing to start-up train you for grant writing because it is unusual.

2) Technical writer for a chemical company. (You'd have to look around to find out what chemical companies around.) Now, there are several sub-options here: 1) Writing training materials for the sales people — most of whom probably don't have a science degree; 2) Writing technical materials for clients and other end users; 3) Writing PR blather for release to the media.

3) Peer reviewed journals in the chemical field. Okay, you'd have to start out as an editorial assistant probably, but it is possible to work your way up to either editing, production, or writing round-ups of your field. Maybe not an end-game job for you, but a good job if you're looking to get your foot in the door for something better down the road. Again, you'd have to find out what publications are in your area and then find out if they're hiring.

4) Your local newspaper. Seriously. Newspaper technology sections are always looking for people who know what the hell they're talking about. You probably won't land a regularly gig (newspaper jobs are notoriously hard to get), but you might land a couple of freelancing articles for some pocket money. Bonus, not only do you get paid (probably a minimal amount), but you also get instant proof that you've written "for publication" and can flash around copies of your clips along with your resume. Hell, science journalism is, in fact, a short track to a lot of large dailies, so if you like the grind, you could potentially find yourself at the New York Times or Wall Street Journal.

5) Trade magazines. Again, you'd have to look around your area to find trade magazines for the chemistry industry, but it's not a bad entry point into a science writing field. They don't pay as piss-poor as newspapers, but they don't pay as well as, say, chemical manufacturers. Again, you could apply for a low-ranking staff job (if available) or try to land a free-lance article, if only to have something to show you've been published.

6) Sniff around your local area for professional groups that focus on chemistry, science writing, and technical writing. There's always a few local chapters around for these organizations. Good for getting ideas for job possibilities or a bead on who's hiring.

If I think of anything else, I'll let you know, but the above should help you start. :-)

[semirose.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much, that's so helpful. I'm moving back home when I graduate, at least for a bit, and I interned for both the local newspaper and a local chemical company when I was in high school. I never really thought about trying there though (although this might be because the moving home bit is a very recent development).

[fiareynne.livejournal.com]

I have fibro.

I laughed.

One of the things fibromyalgia has taught me is that you have to laugh -- even if sometimes, it's just to keep from crying.

[liz-marcs.livejournal.com]

Fibro is scary-ass (says the person who does not have chronic pain she doesn't care what her brain is claiming).

But, still, disclaimer needed because not everyone can sense the invisible sarcasm tags.

[nidoking.livejournal.com]

There are great positions in technical writing. Just imagine the thrill of writing complex technical documents about concepts you only vaguely understand, then being yelled at by the technical experts who have to go fix your work because you didn't understand the concept well enough to write about it, then be blamed for all the horrible grammar mistakes in the final version (added by the domain experts in the process of filling in the details) because your name is on the document as the technical writer. What could be more fun?

Aside from, say, a root canal or a sharp knife in the eye for eight hours a day.

[liz-marcs.livejournal.com]

That sounds more like a workplace issue than an actual job description issue.

I mean, that could be easily be describing my job (and actually was in one or two positions), but I actually work for sane people.

[nidoking.livejournal.com]

Also an exaggeration, but yes, lack of sanity in the workplace is central to the plot. There aren't many sane people where I work.

Fortunately, I'm not the tech writer. I'm the guy doing the (figurative) yelling.

[liz-marcs.livejournal.com]

*eep*

You do check your coffee on a regular basis to make sure it's free of poison, right? Them writers can be tricksy, you know.

[nidoking.livejournal.com]

Nonsense! I trust my tech writer with my life. He's my Bridge partner.

Now, when it comes to raising my own pre-empts, I watch my back.

[wormtorturer.livejournal.com]

I was techwriting back in 2000, dropped out for the first half of 2001 to finish my degree, and when I tried to get back in found that 90% of the STC members in Orange County were desperately seeking work. Still were, by the time I moved to Humboldt in 2004 to change fields.

[nwhepcat.livejournal.com]

Ooh, that sounds interesting. Hell, I could be three different panelists all by myself.

[liz-marcs.livejournal.com]

Hee-hee-hee! Why do you think I was think of you very hard. (Was one of your ears ringing about 1 week ago? That's when I was thinking of picking up a phone and calling you about, "Hey, I've got this crazy idea for a panel and would you be interested?" Then there was financial tragedy...)

My rationale was, "Hey! I could fill four of those! My career has been wild-n-woolly." Let me see: 1) newspaper reporter; 2) trade magazine writer; 3) managing editor (online content); 4) medical writer/adult education. Gah! Crazy career.

Still, I think it would be a hell of a panel for someone to do. Okay, maybe 10 people would show up for it, but you'd know those 10 people would be pretty interested.

[julii-wolfe.livejournal.com]

as someone about to finish an MA in English, I would love to go to the seminar where people pay you to do research and write term papers.
*drools slaverishly*

please share your knowledge with your web followers even if you aren't at writercon this year (sadness!)

the psychosomatic thing = hilarious, scary, yet awesome.

[liz-marcs.livejournal.com]

As I mentioned above: Science writing is your best bet if that's where your interest lies, because that's where I see a lot of crying need.

Another good one: Grant writing. Non-profits/academia/anyone relying on grants will sacrifice babies to Satan to attract good grant writers. Grant writing was never "my thing," but I know people who've had huge job satisfaction from it.

You kind of need to figure out what other thing you're interested in (besides writing) and then figure out what writing jobs would be available in field like that. You kind of have to narrow it down first before choosing a path.

Or, you can do what I did: stumble into it by accident. :-)

[julii-wolfe.livejournal.com]

I'm probably going to end up the accident route, because that's just how my life seems to work. thanks so much for the tips!

[annearchy.livejournal.com]

NO! YOU DO NOT HAVE ANY FORM OF CHRONIC PAIN! SO STOP BEING CONVINCED YOU "CAUGHT" FIBROMYALGIA FROM THE WATER SUPPLY!

LOL, I guess. No, not catchable from water supply. But possibly catchable from car accident + 3 concussions in less than 3 months.

Your "benign prostatic hypoplasia" did make me laugh. My husband apparently has that. His solution is more sex :D

[liz-marcs.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, me thinks your husband is feeding you a bit of a line. :-)

[imaginarycircus.livejournal.com]

I have fibromyalgia and a whole bunch of other annoying weird conditions. But I did have myself convinced I had lupus or rheumatoid arthritis after spending a long time reading articles in medical journals and poking about in the Merck Manual--so I totally understand the fear that your non-existent prostate is trying to kill you.

[liz-marcs.livejournal.com]

Heee! Yeah. I get tons of disease that there's no way I have them. It's kind of amazing, really.

Still, there's always that day when you read something and you really do have the symptoms...those are days that you feel sweet, sweet relief because there's an actual explanation.

[imaginarycircus.livejournal.com]

It's a bit of a mixed blessing with fibro because they don't know what it is really or how to treat it. Sleep and depression/anxiety seem to be involved. But who knows?

Both my parents had really clear symptoms of cancer and did not go to the doctor before it was too late. I still don't know how my father ignored the blood in his urine for so long. *facepalm*

[luxshine.livejournal.com]

I write articles on very easy subjects like the latest anime series, and why people get addicted to Tvtropes, and I love it. Writing is writing, and it's fun. I sometimes even get to review my favorite shows, and get paid for it. So yes, it would be a great program!

(OTOH, I feel your pain. While I don't research medical symptoms, every single time I happen to read symptoms of any disease, my mind starts checklisting 'just in case'. Last one was tetanus, which of course I don't have as I had just had my shot, but convince your brain of that)

[liz-marcs.livejournal.com]

The brain is an evil organ. It keeps trying to kill us.

The hard thing is that a lot of freelancing has dried up, so it's harder and harder to land lucrative contracts that earn you in "the six figures." The people I knew who made a pretty good go of it had to hustle and sell themselves liek WHOAH!

benign prostatic hypoplasia

[mustangsally78.livejournal.com]

LOL.

Can't you get that from too much slash?

Re: benign prostatic hypoplasia

[liz-marcs.livejournal.com]

Going by some of the rants that go up on fanficrants, the answer appears to be "yes."

Of course, benign prostatic hyperplasia is not to be confused with benign prostratic hyperplasia (that's the one where the bottom lies facedown with his ass in the air so he can properly worship the top...) LOL!

benign prostratic hyperplasia

[mustangsally78.livejournal.com]

If he's facedown, he's worshipping the mattress or whatever. I think the top's worshipping the bottom's ass.

::points at icon, hopes you get the ass joke::

[skipp-of-ark.livejournal.com]

Me mum's got fibro, though I haven't heard her complain much about it lately. (Why am I affecting a fake cockney accent in writing?) She tried for five years to get disability for it, as pretty much any full- or part-time job she could have found at the time was undoable for her because of it (perils of living in/near a small town-slash-bedroom community) but was ultimately rejected.

[texanfan.livejournal.com]

I try to avoid reading detailed medical info when I can avoid it for just this reason. I'm horribly susecptible to psychosomatic illness.

What's the market like for technical writers? I know several and they have led me to believe that jobs are kind of thin on the ground (then again, aren't they in all professions right now) but that may just be in my geographic area. It can be a pretty cool gig. My best friend used to write manuals for computer games, it seldom got cooler than that. :)