well, now you know way the heck different. And yes, again, not speaking for everyone, but I'd guess they feel threatened and defensive that you guys are acting like this is the norm. It's not.
If you go back and read the comments to the original post, you will also see that there are a lot of people who expressed a wish to participate, so it's not universal defensiveness.
No, but I said 'most'. And there are seven pages of people (so far) at Open Source Kick in the Balls who are spitting mad at the whole concept. Ferrett's acknowledgment that he caused fear with his comments, and apology for doing so, have calmed some of this down. But not by much. While a certain percentage are people who didn't read carefully, a larger percentage hate the concept at its base, even with willing participants. But having Ferrett explain it, from a guy's POV without any woman giving her testimony in the original post, was threatening as all hell. We were not over-reacting.
Heck, I do not want to get insulting, but look at all those women from that pseudo-LDS compound. *That* is our latest media exposure to Women Who Love Too Much, and men who say how much they love it. Hell yes, this is our first reaction to the idea of being groped. Maybe at your con the usual con-goers have a good idea of the rules, and experience with you guys to know how it all works. Mentioning it on the internet where neither could be true of anyone reading that post? Easily inspires this reaction.
Certainly it doesn't belong out on the street. A con is a little world all its own, and one of the things it's about is doing things differently.
And one of those is doing this in con suites just among friends. And not bringing it into the mainstream or stomping for it in a public forum(which, again, I can see that you get. Now. People are still going to be mad that you guys didn't get this to begin with.)
That has been a very small portion of the comments. Most of them have been more in the line of "women who would do this are broken." Very insulting, and willfully refusing to acknowledge that a version of sensuality that is different from societally accepted experience might have any validity.
And the women outside your small group who would do this? Some of them probably *are* broken. You're very pissed off on your own behalf, and I get that. No one here knows you! Heck, I don't know you. Given the lengthy defense I've given, I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt on your motives and lack of fear. But you guys wanted to set a precedent. And we are trained to defensiveness and rejection for anything threatening like that.
And that would be fine, if people's reaction was, "Wow, I can't imagine that working." Instead it was, "You are sick and broken people!"
Fear leads to anger, anger leads to insults, insults lead to the Dark Side....
And yeah, there's probably some genuine judgementalness in there. This can't be the first time you've encountered that, either. Especially on the internet. And yes, a lot of people will take your defense of what actually happened as you not getting why they're upset, or thinking they don't have a right to be upset. Or they might think you're implying that this is their problem, and not realize that you guys acknowledge now that this would never work in a larger group, and why. This isn't just Not Ready For Primetime. It's Not Ready for Most of Fandom. (And again the duh sign over my head goes off, but what the heck, it's a new day, re-state points.)
no subject
well, now you know way the heck different. And yes, again, not speaking for everyone, but I'd guess they feel threatened and defensive that you guys are acting like this is the norm. It's not.
If you go back and read the comments to the original post, you will also see that there are a lot of people who expressed a wish to participate, so it's not universal defensiveness.
No, but I said 'most'. And there are seven pages of people (so far) at Open Source Kick in the Balls who are spitting mad at the whole concept. Ferrett's acknowledgment that he caused fear with his comments, and apology for doing so, have calmed some of this down. But not by much. While a certain percentage are people who didn't read carefully, a larger percentage hate the concept at its base, even with willing participants. But having Ferrett explain it, from a guy's POV without any woman giving her testimony in the original post, was threatening as all hell. We were not over-reacting.
Heck, I do not want to get insulting, but look at all those women from that pseudo-LDS compound. *That* is our latest media exposure to Women Who Love Too Much, and men who say how much they love it. Hell yes, this is our first reaction to the idea of being groped. Maybe at your con the usual con-goers have a good idea of the rules, and experience with you guys to know how it all works. Mentioning it on the internet where neither could be true of anyone reading that post? Easily inspires this reaction.
Certainly it doesn't belong out on the street. A con is a little world all its own, and one of the things it's about is doing things differently.
And one of those is doing this in con suites just among friends. And not bringing it into the mainstream or stomping for it in a public forum(which, again, I can see that you get. Now. People are still going to be mad that you guys didn't get this to begin with.)
That has been a very small portion of the comments. Most of them have been more in the line of "women who would do this are broken." Very insulting, and willfully refusing to acknowledge that a version of sensuality that is different from societally accepted experience might have any validity.
And the women outside your small group who would do this? Some of them probably *are* broken. You're very pissed off on your own behalf, and I get that. No one here knows you! Heck, I don't know you. Given the lengthy defense I've given, I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt on your motives and lack of fear. But you guys wanted to set a precedent. And we are trained to defensiveness and rejection for anything threatening like that.
And that would be fine, if people's reaction was, "Wow, I can't imagine that working." Instead it was, "You are sick and broken people!"
Fear leads to anger, anger leads to insults, insults lead to the Dark Side....
And yeah, there's probably some genuine judgementalness in there. This can't be the first time you've encountered that, either. Especially on the internet. And yes, a lot of people will take your defense of what actually happened as you not getting why they're upset, or thinking they don't have a right to be upset. Or they might think you're implying that this is their problem, and not realize that you guys acknowledge now that this would never work in a larger group, and why. This isn't just Not Ready For Primetime. It's Not Ready for Most of Fandom. (And again the duh sign over my head goes off, but what the heck, it's a new day, re-state points.)