When I saw what you'd been asked to remix, my slash-aversion filters almost stopped me from reading. But, you being the author, I soldiered on anyway. I'm glad I did.

Because I wouldn't be me if I didn't find a minor little error: I think there's a word missing at the beginning of this part. It's where Dawn says:

"For the first time since she got LA,"

I presume you meant "got to LA."

Thanks very much for writing, and for sharing your writing.