The way that Madonna sings 'American Pie' always reminds me of someone I met in Mozambique who could play, and sing, a wide selection of British and American songs but who spoke no English at all. He had learned them phonetically without understanding what any of the words actually meant. Her total lack of any feeling gives the same impression. It's mechanical, emotionless, and utterly dire. Pisses me off more than almost any other cover version except perhaps All Saints' ghastly rendition of 'Under The Bridge', Eva Cassidy's massacre of 'Fields of Gold', and the current UK 'Comic Relief' desecration of 'Walk This Way' by Girls Aloud Vs. Sugababes.