To be fair to Willow though, she is in between a rock and a hard place (just how much, you'll find out), so she is acting partially out of desperation.
The other part is unresolved Xander-shaped issues (in all forms of Xander), which are actually justified (just how much you'll find out) in some cases and a little unfair in others. Passive-aggressiveness is part of Willow's passel of faults, as well as her inability to own her own anger (sometimes). Eventually she could have forgiven him, were it not for at least one or two important pieces of information that will come out.
She's human, and she knows that (by the show's own canon) blaming the souled vamp version for something that soulless vamp did is unfair, so she's convinced herself that everything she's done to ensure Xander's ongoing survival is for his benefit, rather than getting a bit of revenge for what psycho-soulless vamp Xander did (and to a lesser extent, a situation that arose pre-vamp Xander that had a hand in what happened with Kennedy).
What actually makes this an interesting exercise (to me), is that ultimately other people don't think that what Willow did with Xander was actually wrong, per se. Where they have issues is the the lengths she went through (for those who are aware of those lengths, like Spike and Faith) or because they have concerns about Willow herself (Buffy, who knows only part of the story).
None of them really view things as completely black-and-white, with (surprise, surprise) the sole exception of Xander. Ironically, he's the only one who can afford to have that view because at this point, he honestly has a very limited set of choices he can act on. Where he does have choices (whether or not to take care of himself, for example), he tends to push it to the limit simply because he can, not because it's a smart thing to do. So, where he becomes more interesting is what he does do with the choices he has and how his black-and-white view of his situation may or may not change as a result.
no subject
The other part is unresolved Xander-shaped issues (in all forms of Xander), which are actually justified (just how much you'll find out) in some cases and a little unfair in others. Passive-aggressiveness is part of Willow's passel of faults, as well as her inability to own her own anger (sometimes). Eventually she could have forgiven him, were it not for at least one or two important pieces of information that will come out.
She's human, and she knows that (by the show's own canon) blaming the souled vamp version for something that soulless vamp did is unfair, so she's convinced herself that everything she's done to ensure Xander's ongoing survival is for his benefit, rather than getting a bit of revenge for what psycho-soulless vamp Xander did (and to a lesser extent, a situation that arose pre-vamp Xander that had a hand in what happened with Kennedy).
What actually makes this an interesting exercise (to me), is that ultimately other people don't think that what Willow did with Xander was actually wrong, per se. Where they have issues is the the lengths she went through (for those who are aware of those lengths, like Spike and Faith) or because they have concerns about Willow herself (Buffy, who knows only part of the story).
None of them really view things as completely black-and-white, with (surprise, surprise) the sole exception of Xander. Ironically, he's the only one who can afford to have that view because at this point, he honestly has a very limited set of choices he can act on. Where he does have choices (whether or not to take care of himself, for example), he tends to push it to the limit simply because he can, not because it's a smart thing to do. So, where he becomes more interesting is what he does do with the choices he has and how his black-and-white view of his situation may or may not change as a result.