The thing about working at the Jolly Green Giant (now a subsidiary of the French Baguette) is that:

1) I am surrounded by scientists
2) I am surrounded by statisticians

It's at this point that I feel like I should state that really, really fucking love science. Advanced math, however — defined here as something greater than balance-the-checkbook math — and I are still not on speaking terms.

The great tragedy in my life is that my high school science and math teachers sucked. Majorly sucked. Massively sucked.

Sucked to the point of incoherence.

Sucked to the point that I got so frustrated that I literally said to my mother: "Who needs this shit? I'm never gonna use any of it."

*spreads arm wide*

Consider me a walking object lesson on "Just 'cause you're 17 and heading off to college, it doesn't mean you know shit."

For reals.

I've managed to spend half my career now playing with science and, to a lesser extent, math. (Ooooo, the latest American Medical Writers Associate Journal has a tutoring article on how to interpreting statistics in medical studies. SWEET!)

Now, I've managed to pick up a lot by osmosis. I mean, a lot. But here's the problem: no matter how many books you read and how many questions you ask, without some formal training you're going to miss a shit-ton of the basics.

Hence my decision to go back.

Okay, it's only for an Associate's, and it's only community college, and I'm only going back really part time (like one or two classes a semester), but still! It's for science! Which is hard! (Okay, hard-ish!)

In looking at the in-state tuition rates...oy! One class is going to cost roughly $800 after assorted fees are thrown in, and that doesn't include books. Thankfully, the Jolly Green Giant has a very generous continuing education policy for classes that are specifically tied in to your job. (It's science! And some math! Yes! It applies!)

And before you say, "Then apply for financial aid" let me laugh at you. The salary I make? I should be paying full-freight (and that's even without the corporate reimbursement) and to think otherwise is just fucking immoral, yo.

Now that I've made up my mind, I'm scared out of shoes. Okay, not scared enough to have second thoughts, but scared.

The last time I was in a formal classroom was literally half-a-lifetime ago.

And here I am, planning to go back. For science no less!

Okay, it's only for an Associate's Degree and it's only community college, but still!

It's for science! (And a little math...)