[quote] I find myself squirming at the thought that Xander and Willow were caught in some bleak purgatory until Buffy joined them, that in this most personal of journeys they had to wait for her to lead the way, [/quote]

I believe, with the reference to how they could have gone to the 'really nice place' (a five star hotel, with silk sheets and room service and less roaches, in this symbolic place), but kept turning away and refusing to do so was meant to suggest that they were *waiting* for Buffy, quite of their own will. (Well, not consciously, only that they knew someone was missing, and they wouldn't be complete / able to finish their trip until she arrived.)