liz_marcs: George snooping through the Happy Time files. (DLM_George_Snooping)
liz_marcs ([personal profile] liz_marcs) wrote2012-07-13 03:23 pm

Odd Fandom Realizations for the Day

Odd Fandom Realization of the Day 1

Known Fact About Moi: Necrophilia squicks me out. Especially since I once wrote a story about a court case about a guy who...yeeeeaaaaaah. Not gonna finish that sentence. Use your imagination.

Pointed Out to Me: You realize that you haaaaaaaate all Vampire/Human ships, right? Like, Dude, you're the only person I know who hates Buffy/Angel and Buffy/Spike equally. In fact, you still do. When was the last time you even watched BtVS or AtS again?

Recently Realized Fandom Evolution: I have lost all interest in shows that feature vampires. I've only watched the first episode of "True Blood" and gave "The Vampire Diaries" a complete pass. I've steered clear of any and all vampire-related stories. Why? Because inevitably the human female lead winds up screwing one or more male vampires, even if she's all, "Ewwwwww!" at the thought at the start of the series. And when this inevitably happens, I get annoyed and lose patience, because I am not, not, not going to hang in there in the hopeless hope that the human female will come to her senses and drop the blood sucker, preferably into a vat of holy water.

Odd Recent Fandom Realization: My severe dislike of all human/vampire pairings going back to when I was still in college can be traced to my necrophilia squick. I can't get it out of my head that, no matter what, a VAMPIRE IS A FUCKING CORPSE!


Odd Fandom Realization of the Day 2

Known Fact About Moi: The shortest guy I ever dated was 5'11". I am 5'1" in my stocking feet.

Recently Realized Fandom Evolution: While I'm not a 'shipper by nature (and certainly never a rabid one) I've recently realized that I tend to be fond of fictional relationships involving really, really tall men and really, really short women.

Odd Recent Fandom Realization: It appears I have a fetish. Dear God.
skarman: (Default)

[personal profile] skarman 2012-07-13 08:25 pm (UTC)(link)
I have to agree with you on the Vampire/Human relationships, or rather ALL Demon/Human relationships. I grew up watching old horror movies (Lee and Cushing and Price). Reading the weekly horror periodicals. I know that in later seasons, BTVS and Angel introduced neutral demons like Lorne and Clem. Still, the majority of demons would like nothing more than to suck the marrow from humanity's bones. We're nothing more then a convenient snack or fodder for their rituals and sacrifices to higher-level demons.

So, a human who has a relationship with a demon? Yeah... Humanity is already very good at killing each other. Getting frisky with creatures who want to do the same to your fellow humans? It is the equivalent of soldiers spying for the enemy during wartime. It is the main reason that I lost respect for several characters in BTVS, starting with Buffy and ending with Cordelia. It's the main reason I lost interest in Charmed.

It's ironic that BTVS unknowingly parodied itself, Anne Rice, Twilight and every other 'romantic vampire story with the Billy Fordham episode. All those worshippers of 'The Lonely Ones'? That's Buffy. That's Cordelia. That's Phoebe. That's all the fans who swoon at B/A and B/S. All the fans who read Anne Rice, Twilight etc. Who dream of finding such a tortured, lonely vampiric soul of their own, to help heal and become a better creature.... Kind of like all those 'Bad Boys' they always fall for while swearing up and down they want a good man, a nice man...

A vampire is a vampire is a vampire and should be rendered onto dust.
kore: (Default)

[personal profile] kore 2012-07-13 11:54 pm (UTC)(link)
....this was possibly the most awesome post I read all day.
gehayi: (run girl run (xlivvielockex))

[personal profile] gehayi 2012-07-14 07:36 am (UTC)(link)
Odd Recent Fandom Realization: My severe dislike of all human/vampire pairings going back to when I was still in college can be traced to my necrophilia squick. I can't get it out of my head that, no matter what, a VAMPIRE IS A FUCKING CORPSE!

OH MY GOD! I thought that I was the only one who reacted this way! Thank you!

I am not, not, not going to hang in there in the hopeless hope that the human female will come to her senses and drop the blood sucker, preferably into a vat of holy water.

YES! Preach it!

Another reason to shun the Occult Guy/Human Girl pairing: it's always the same damned monster.

Whether the Occult Guy is a vampire, a werewolf, a merman, a member of a fae court, an elf, a zombie, an angel, a fallen angel, a demon, a half-demon or an alien, he will have the following characteristics:

a) He will be handsome, usually in an unearthly way. If he is a vampire, he will probably be rich without having had to work for it.

b) He will usually be much older than the female protagonist. The exceptions to this are the werewolf and the zombie. Werewolves (or were-ANYTHINGS) are at their most tragic when they have just been afflicted with their curse and have trouble controlling themselves. Zombie/human romances tend to be with very new zombies who still look and think in a somewhat human way.

c) Murder.

i. If he is a vampire, a demon or a half-demon, he will have killed humans in the past and is angsting about it in the present. (Unless his name is Nick Knight or Angel, he won't actually do anything to atone for his crimes. He'll just moan about them a lot.)

ii. If he is a zombie, fae, elf or angel, he may or may not have killed humans, but probably will see nothing wrong with this. The narrative will agree.

iii. If he is a werewolf, he may or may not have killed humans, but he's almost certainly killed SOMETHING and feels horrendously guilty about it. (Again, this guilt exists solely for angsting purposes and will not lead to plot or character development.)

d) At some point, he will express some degree of rage, confusion and/or contempt for the human race. The narrative will present this idea as entirely correct.

e) The Occult Guy will stalk, threaten, kidnap, sexually assault, attempt to rape, rape and/or attempt to murder the Human Girl who is his love interest. Indeed, he may terrify her to the point that she fears for her safety--or even her life. Such crimes will be presented as completely loving behavior by the narrative and will most likely be forgiven by the Human Girl herself.

f) Anyone in-universe who hates the relationship between the Occult Guy and the Human Girl is not a perceptive soul who can see that this relationship is damaging and unhealthy but the Ultimate Evil who will have to be destroyed by the end of the book, movie, TV series, or whatever.

g) The Human Girl will, eventually:

i. have to tap into her own supernatural powers, becoming tougher and less humane (and possibly less human) in the process;

ii. will discover that part of her ancestry is most emphatically NOT human and will be told repeatedly that, because of this, she should not regard herself as human or as part of the human world;

iii. will cheerfully give up being human for the sake of Occult Guy, whom she has known for a grand total of five minutes.

h) The Human Girl should not have any hopes, dreams, plans or ambitions of her own. If they exist, she must be sacrificing them for the sake of family, friends or the world. Ideally, however, her only dream should be Getting Her Man. After all, getting a boyfriend or a husband is all that girls care about, right?

j) There must be a power imbalance between the Occult Guy and the Human Girl, with the guy having the most power, authority and/or control. This will be true even if the girl is strong and independent outside of her relationship with the Occult Guy.

(And yes, I know that not all het paranormal romances are like this...but an amazing number are.)
Edited 2012-07-14 07:39 (UTC)

[personal profile] hendrikboom 2012-07-14 01:49 pm (UTC)(link)
I have lost all interest in shows that feature vampires.

I hope this doesn't mean we're never going to see the end of Facing the Heart in Darkness.

-- hendrik
sailorcoruscant: (Default)

[personal profile] sailorcoruscant 2012-07-16 01:19 am (UTC)(link)
It sounds like you might like the new YA book "Team Human", which is about the best friend of a girl involved with a vampire, who is just as squicked as you are about the whole thing. :)
lee_rowan: Lee and her dog (Lee & Cassie)

[personal profile] lee_rowan 2012-07-16 09:59 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't know anyone sane who isn't squicked at necrophilia. A vampire is an animated corpse. F*cking a corpse ain't sexy, and oversized, 2-legged mosquitoes are REALLY not-sexy.

the only recent vampire story I have liked was on the front of a t-shirt: "And then Buffy staked Edward. The End."